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I firmly hold the belief that it is always possible to transform. My view is you absolutely are able to instruct a veteran learner, on the condition that the old dog is receptive and ready for growth. So long as the individual in question is willing to admit when it was wrong, and endeavor to transform into a improved version.

Well, admittedly, the metaphor applies to me. And the trick I am attempting to master, even though I am a creature of habit? It is an important one, something I have grappled with, often, for my whole existence. The quest I'm on … to grow less fearful of the common huntsman. My regrets to all the different eight-legged creatures that exist; I have to be realistic about my capacity for development as a human. The focus must remain on the huntsman because it is large, commanding, and the one I run into regularly. This includes on three separate occasions in the recent past. In my own living space. You can’t see me, but I'm grimacing with discomfort as I type.

I doubt I’ll ever reach “fan” status, but my project has been at least attaining a baseline of normalcy about them.

An intense phobia regarding spiders dating back to my youth (as opposed to other children who find them delightful). During my childhood, I had a sufficient number of brothers around to ensure I never had to confront any personally, but I still freaked out if one was visibly in the same room as me. One incident stands out of one morning when I was eight, my family still asleep, and attempting to manage a spider that had made its way onto the living room surface. I “managed” with it by retreating to a remote corner, almost into the next room (lest it chased me), and spraying half a bottle of insect spray toward it. The spray failed to hit the spider, but it did reach and irritate everyone in my house.

In my adult life, whomever I was in a relationship with or living with was, by default, the most courageous of spiders in our pairing, and therefore tasked with handling the situation, while I made low keening sounds and beat a hasty retreat. If I was on my own, my tactic was simply to exit the space, turn off the light and try to ignore its existence before I had to return.

In a recent episode, I was a guest at a friend’s house where there was a particularly sizable huntsman who lived in the casement, for the most part stationary. To be less scared of it, I envisioned the spider as a her, a gal, in our circle, just chilling in the sun and eavesdropping on us yap. It sounds extremely dumb, but it worked (to some degree). Put another way, making a conscious choice to become more fearless proved successful.

Regardless, I've made an effort to continue. I reflect upon all the logical reasons not to be scared. I know huntsman spiders are not dangerous to humans. I know they prey upon things like insect pests (my mortal enemies). I am cognizant they are one of the planet's marvelous, harmless-to-humans creatures.

Alas, they do continue to move like that. They move in the utterly horrifying and somehow offensive way conceivable. The sight of their multiple limbs propelling them at that terrible speed induces my caveman brain to enter panic mode. They ostensibly only have a standard octet of limbs, but I maintain that multiplies when they get going.

Yet it is no fault of their own that they have unnerving limbs, and they have an equal entitlement to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. I’ve found that employing the techniques of making an effort to avoid instantly leap out of my body and run away when I see one, working to keep calm and collected, and consciously focusing about their positive qualities, has begun to yield results.

The mere fact that they are hairy creatures that move hastily extremely quickly in a way that haunts my sleep, does not justify they merit my intense dislike, or my high-pitched vocalizations. I can admit when I’ve been wrong and driven by unfounded fear. I’m not sure I’ll ever attain the “scooping one into plasticware and taking it outside” phase, but one can't be sure. Some life is left left in this seasoned learner yet.